With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
