Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
