Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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