Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
