when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
