So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
