Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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