do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
