woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
