I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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