Already got asked if we're dating
too bad you live with your parents still
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Randomize
