They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
