Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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