dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
foreskin is a definite game changer
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
