My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
