I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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