I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
