i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
