I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
