it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
