The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
