We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
