Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
