Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
