I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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