you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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