Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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