I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
