the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
