apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
