I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
