look no pants
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
