Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
