How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
