So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize