That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
