glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
