if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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