are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
