I haven't been this sober since birth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize