just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
