my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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