Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
