haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
