Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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