i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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