I just pynch a tree in the face
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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