WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
