If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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