I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
