I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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