so that wasnt chicken after all
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
so much tequila, so little girl.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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