They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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