the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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