oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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