The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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