Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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