I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize