The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
