just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
