I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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