One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
